remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
