Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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