I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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