chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
