Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And then he peed in my hair
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