Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
