I got chris browned last night
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
