I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
