she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
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I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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