I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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