Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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