He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
