why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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