Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
