They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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