when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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