My liver just broke up with me...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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