Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
