my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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