Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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