the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
