fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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