I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we're chasing vodka with high fives
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize