I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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