I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
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I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
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I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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