Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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