i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize