Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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