best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
