He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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