i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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