I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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