If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
