I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
