guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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