Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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