I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
