$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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