I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
