I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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