every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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