we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
