Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
