She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
