I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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