I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize