Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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