Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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