i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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