How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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