I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
