saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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