I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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