no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
