i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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