He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
