what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize