u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
